Racer's excuses


Neal 'Champ' Champion:

[Jurby '02]

"The bike is not so much "fully fettled" as fully bodged. It's been crashed 5 times this year, and while it's been repaired each time, it's never as good as it was before. It will also be 'fresh' from the Pembrey 6 hour with not so much as an oil change. (thinks: I suppose I *could* change the oil...)."

-- to which Neil Ronketti responded "We've not even got an engine to put the oil in yet"

Cherie Christian:

"I got boobies and they hurt like hell after about 5 minutes bouncing around - oooops, too much info"

[Jurby '02]

"I'd just made my return to racing after my big crash at Croix, and found myself to be at least 2 seconds off my ususal pace, riding a bike I don't know, on a circuit I don't know"

James 'Doughnutboy' Dening:

[Oulton '99]

"Andy Bryant got me stoned off my tits last night."

[Snetterton '02]

"I'm rather chubby at the moment"

[Cadwell '03]

"I got my glove caught on the throttle."

[Pre-Season '04]

Nice try, but I'm *Very* pussed..shit, fucking keyboard thing is fucked,....and I'm in Israel, so there....

[James' response to an invitation to go road racing on the Isle of Man, after raving and frothing for days on end trying to get Adam C to go circuit racing -- Ed.]

[Bishopscourt, NI '04]

Dunno what happened, but my luck ran out. I blame the overbanded, cement-patched shite surface.... and a 5.5 hour old front tyre... ;-)

Liam Drew:

[Snetterton '01]

"The bike just doesn't handle as nicely as the one I wrote off"

Roger "Reg" Ford:

Reg: "I've not crashed at Chessons"
Everyone at the table: "Yes you bloody have. It's on the cover of the 1999 crash video!"
Reg: "I didn't mean that part of Chessons"

[Brands '00]

"For a moment, I thought everything was fine. Then it gradually dawned on me (time being measured in microseconds) that I was sliding on my fairing rather than turning on my tyres. The front had let go."

Keith 'Mad Dog' McKay:

[Jurby '02]

"I forgot we had a qualifying tyre on" -- which lasted 15 minutes into a 2 hour race.

Simon "Sol" Oliver:

[Cadwell '00]

"I forgot to brake"

Neil 'The Rocket' Ronketti:

"I lent the bike to James and it's not been the same since."

"I forgot to scrub in the front tyre." -- after breaking his wrist at the first corner of the first lap of the first practise session.

Neil 'McCrashy' McCready:

[after binning it at Brands in front of the cameras]

McCrashy: "I thought I could make it round the wide line."
Marshall: "I didn't."
McCrashy: "Bugger... well, guess you were right!"

[after discovering that Ms. Cherie had posted a faster lap than him]

"Was it damp? Was my bike doing the CBR200-200-300 trick? Had I got an oil leak? Was the engine overheating? And (being only the 4th ever round of the champs) was it also one of my first ever trips round Brands? "


Compiled by Keith McKay from the Team Ixion List Archives and shamelessly copied here. :-)